Dear Tonsils,
I'm not sure how to begin. It is never easy writing a letter of this sort. I know that we have been together for a very long time - almost thirty years - however, I just don't think it's working out between us. I know that you are quite attached to me, but your behavior over the years, especially the last two or three, has made me realize that it is not worth the time and energy needed on my part to make this relationship work.
I understand that this may be hard for you to hear but you have become nothing more than a nuisance. You are a breeding ground for infection, you are huge (not that weight ever matters but I am starting to have trouble breathing), and you keep me from getting a good night's sleep.
I'm going to be taking steps to make our separation permanent. I'm sorry, but I have to do what's best for me.
It's not me, it's you.
Sincerely,
Nomes
5 comments:
you need to write a letter of apology to your backside for viciously stabbing it with a needle
In this case, size does matter. The tonsils are just too much tonsil for you to handle!
Think of the ice cream you'll get.
I would apologize to my backside if I were the least bit sorry. But(t) I'm not. I'd much rather have the shot than take the pills for ten days. :)
And the tonsils truly are huge. Envision golf balls, if you will.
And mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ice cream!
*drools*
Classic. Get rid of them! Out with the old, I say!
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