To Life

Dear Life,

STOP IT!!!!

Love,

Nomes

To Laundry

To My Worthy Opponent: Laundry,

So, we meet again. It has been one week since our last encounter, but I want you to remember who it was who defeated you. It was a tough battle with many casualties, but I came off victorious! Now, with you piling up once more, it is time again to go to battle. It may take a few days, what with your accomplices (my traitorous children and husband), but I will win! I will prevail!! I will conquer!!!

Sincerely,

General Nomes

To Stress

Dear Stress,

It has come to my attention that you are living in my body as a most unwelcome guest.

GET OUT!!!

Sincerely,

Nomes

To My Children

Dear Children,

The screaming at each other is getting REALLY old. However, since you like to do it so much, I WILL NOW BE SCREAMING RIGHT BACK! LET'S SEE HOW YOUR EARS CAN TAKE IT! AND REMEMBER, MOMMY USED TO BE A DRUM MAJOR IN HIGH SCHOOL, SO SHE HAS GREAT DIAPHRAGM CONTROL!

LOVE, MOM!